June 29, 2012: I could hold it in my hands.
Oh he had something. Unique it was what he had. Something to do with his ears, he said. Everything fine-tuned so his balance was perfect. He walked between high buildings balanced on a high wire and cameras recording every balletic stumble but Emile never falling.
I saw him once take a wheelbarrow out on the same wire, like there was a garden in the sky needing his attention, and a woman in clouds of white tuille and lace was seated in the barrow, and he made it look so easy. And another time he fried an egg on a small travel stove. An omeltte I think it was, and with a napkin tucked beneath his chin he made a meal of those broken eggs, and only air between him and his own scrambled end on the pavements below.
All in the grace of his body, bending and twisting and pirouetting onto the pages of our newspapers.
And it’s all in the ears, he said. That’s the secret of perfect balance. You listen to the movement of the air, the breath of God, and you let yourself be played, like a wind-harp, and balance is just holding a single perfect note. Listen.
I told him again and again it was over. I whispered it in his sleep, sang it to him over breakfast, spoke it plain as speaking can when serving him dinner. It’s over. He looked up from his beer and his chips. He was smiling. I don’t think he’d actually heard what I’d said.
→Written by Lindsay and shared through the comments section of Daily Journal Prompt #152. If a daily journal prompt inspires your writing, please share it with me so I can consider posting it for others to read as well. Thanks for reading! -PMc←
“Reading is one of the main things I do. Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel I’ve accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it’s a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it’s a way of making contact with someone else’s imagination after of day that’s all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss.”
-Nora Ephron (1941 – 2012), from I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman
June 27, 2012: I could read between the lines.
Sometime in the last year, a message came into my Facebook inbox that read something like: “We should probably meet for real, don’t you think?” Now this wasn’t one of those weird and steamy on-line flirtations that ultimately leads to a disappointed face-to-face, but instead a reaching out by a totally swell guy and fine writer by the name of Ben Tanzer. See, Ben and I travel in the same circles here in Chicago, and sometimes in the cyber world, too. I’ve even seen him give a reading at the wonderful Reading Under the Influence series here in the city. But we had never actually met.
So we made a date. And you know what? You ever meet that person who is so genuinely funny, kind, and interested in things and people in the world other than himself that you can’t help but feel comfortable and lucky to be in his company? Well Ben Tanzer is that guy. Really. You should know him. In fact, you can know him, more or less, by following him around cyberspace this month as he undertakes THE NEW YORK STORIES TOUR 2012. I am thrilled that he has chosen View From the Keyboard as one of his stops.
Oh, and by the way, check out this beautiful handmade book The New York Stories, written by Ben, illustrated by Laura Szumowski, and published by the The Chicago Center for Literature and Photography.
VIEW: Why this space?
TANZER: So to begin, this is my dining room table, and this is where I do most of my writing when I’m home, which is most of the time. I tend to write early in the morning, or late at night, and at those times, this is the only space that is unoccupied. I also write when my family are out of the house, and when those rare moments exist, I apparently drift there from force of habit, though possibly there is some Deathstar-like gravitation pull at play that I’m not fully aware exists.
VIEW: What little thing here inspires you?
TANZER: The spot itself is not necessarily inspirational in and of itself, but the opportunity to write always is. I would add though, that I have always enjoyed the floor to ceiling windows in our apartment, the view and hustle and bustle of our neighborhood, the way the light comes in, the table itself, the flowers that will be there if anywhere, the books I tend to leave around, and the painting by my father on the wall of my brother and me when we were the age of my children. The space is suffused with things I enjoy, and things that are comforting, which is cool, and centering I suppose, if not actually inspirational.
VIEW: What can’t we see in the photo?
TANZER: What you cannot see is how close the living room couch is to the table. Or that the kitchen is right behind it. That you are only a short hall away from the rest of our apartment, and that since I am not writing as I took these photos, my kids are probably steps away. As is my wife. There isn’t much space to the space, but there is enough for now. I would add that another reason this space works for me, is because from the start of my efforts to write I always assumed I would be bogged-down with work and family and so decided I couldn’t be precious about where I would write or when. If I could find time to write, I had to, every time. That said, the idea of a separate space to write and get away to is an ongoing fantasy of mine, though also fraught with some measure of dissonance. To have a separate space would imply that I might have more time, and some control over that time, and that kind of freedom is almost impossible to imagine. Almost.
VIEW: How much time do you spend there?
TANZER: I actually spend an inordinate amount of time here. But that’s because I also work from home on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we eat our meals here and do homework. Pay bills and make phone calls. It’s where I deal with email and blogging, and read the newspaper and books. For everyone in the house it is the center for most activities, but for me especially, and now that I am writing this I am beginning to wonder whether I in fact spend time anywhere else. I will get back to you on that.
VIEW: What time of day do you write?
TANZER: As I have somewhat alluded to, whenever I can, but that is with caveats I suppose. When I write is not remotely based on what feels like a productive time of day for me, but when I know I can in advance, and then my really trying to stick to that time. I have never tried to determine whether there is a good part of day. I don’t think there is, but I also haven’t wanted to test it, because I don’t feel like I have the flexibility to be precious about it. That said, someday there may be time, and I may decide then to be very precious, the right time, the right place, the right music, and drinks, and when that time comes I plan to be a real monster, and unbelievably uncool to anyone who messes with my process or the writing space in my head.
“IN A SINGLE BOUND” (Excerpt from THE NEW YORK STORIES)
“So,” she says, smiling. “Do you think this guy is stalking you or what?”
They are going out to lunch together. She is the intern. She is young and vibrant, if a little weird and awkward, with her interest in graphic novels, Spider-Man, and him, all things he is interested in as well.
He normally makes it a point to avoid the younger employees, especially the female ones. He wants to get to work, get what needs to be done, done, and then get home to his wife, and his real life. Because that’s the thing; like Spider-Man he lives in two worlds, and his real life has little to do with work or who he is at work. Spider-Man is both a superhero and an everyman struggling to pay his bills and deal with a boss who doesn’t appreciate his job performance. And that’s him as well, just in reverse. He is a superhero at work, but the rest of the time he is just a regular guy trying to deal with people’s expectations of him, his wife included.
It’s not that his wife doesn’t appreciate him. It’s just that his wife doesn’t appreciate him like the intern does. The intern has no expectations at all, and frankly it’s refreshing. The risk in this kind of relationship, though, is in the inherent power differential between the intern and him, a mix of age and status and gender; and superhero or not, he doesn’t always know how to manage that. The boundaries aren’t always clear.
→Thanks, Ben, for stopping by on your whirlwind tour. Good luck with THE NEW YORK STORIES (and the rest of your books, too!) We will keep an eye on you and your doings over at your site: This Blog Will Change Your Life. -PMc←