Daily Journal Prompt #174

image from lucychurchill.com

June 29, 2012: I could hold it in my hands.

2 Replies to “Daily Journal Prompt #174”

  1. She says she don’t believe it and she says she won’t. Not ‘less it is something she can hold in her hands or see with her eyes. But I seen plenty of stuff that I didn’t afterwards believe in and I held stuff too and what I held turned out not to be what I thought it was. So I reckon as seeing and believing and holding something in your hands, they ain’t no barometer of truth.

    Like stars I saw once, and they just fell out of the sky. I was only a kid at the time and I was out with this girl and we was just laying back on the grass in the park, laying where there was a sign that said to ‘keep off’, only it was dark enough we couldn’t see the letters on the sign. And we was just looking up at the sky and remarking on the millions of stars there and wondering what a star even was. Then maybe a dozen of ’em, sudden, was falling out of the sky, and we thought we was the only one to see ‘em, and it was breathless quiet, and I was caught up in the wonder of it and she was, too, and we might have kissed then.

    Later, I told my mom about the stars falling and she said it wasn’t true and I was making it up, or maybe I was mistaken and it was a plane skirting across the sky with its lights on, she said. The next day it was in all the papers and on the tv, proof of what I’d been saying, only it wasn’t stars exactly, but just rocks, a whole shower of ‘em. I don’t remember the girl’s name or if I saw her again after that night.

    And another time and there was a girl there, too, and we was at the back of the church and it must have been a Wednesday because there was choir practice going on and the church windows all lit up like a fair. And we was kissing, me and this girl, and she let me put my hand under her sweater, and she wasn’t wearing nothing underneath. I swear I held her tit, soft as a sun-warmed peach in my hand. I didn’t believe it afterwards, though I told my best friend Mike. He didn’t believe it neither, not when I told him who the girl was and it was Emily from school.

    ‘No fucking way,’ Mike said, and I shook my head like it couldn’t possibly have been and I didn;t mind that Mike didn’t believe it.

    And now there’s Joanie and we’re all curled together like kittens or puppies in a litter, and we’re curled up in her bed and breathless and spent, and I’m telling her I love her and saying as how we should get married. I tell her I ain’t got enough for a ring just yet, but I promise her I will. And that’s when she says she don’t believe it and she won’t, not till she can hold something in her hand and know it is real.

    I take her hand and I put it where my heart is and I’m looking her in the eye, and I ask her if that’s not proof enough for her.

    Joanie says I’m full of shit and I think she’s maybe right, and I don’t know if what I said tonight will be true tomorrow, and I don’t know if tonight that matters at all. And anyway, the truth is over-rated, in my humble opinion, and all that really counts is the moment that is here and now, and stars can fall or not fall, and choirs may sing behind coloured glass, but right now I love Joanie and that’s surely true enough for now.

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