2 Replies to “12.19.2013 Journal Prompt”

  1. She’s beautiful, you know. I mean like really something. And men lose their words when they’re talking to her and women narrow their eyes and hold their own men a little closer. Her name’s Kelly and she knows what she’s about.

    I watch her, see. All the time. I note the trouble she takes to look as good as she does. She washes her hair in rosemary tea for a special shine, and she smells of roses behind her ears, and she paints her nails in all colours, fingers and toes. And she buys expensive fitted underwear, real silk, and her dresses are short so you can see what she’s wearing. I can’t help looking, and I cuss under my breath and I don’t know if I want to be her or to be with her, if you get my meaning.

    And it all seems so easy and she can have any guy she chooses.

    Col won’t say what they did tonight in the dark behind Donny’s bar, but I know and he ain’t the first and he won’t be the last neither. I was out back having a piss. There was a queue in the bar so I just slipped out. And I’d had a few and I fell on my back, knickers round my ankles, and I was looking up at the dizzy stars when Kelly and Col came out. I should’ve let on that I was there, but they were at it quick as rabbits, so I just stayed hidden and stayed quiet.

    Col’s engaged to Min and Min is a friend of mine. I don’t know how I should tell her and it’s sorta eating me up. And seeing them in the bar a shade later, it’s as if nothing happened. Col’s kissing Min and Kelly’s stroking the cheek of Agnew and saying in whispers what she’d like to do with him some dark night which is to fuck his stupid brains out.

    Kelly has a crude way of talking that men like and she looks like a model and she’s always touching her hair and licking her lips, and I am wet in my pants hearing what she says to Agnew and so I don’t blame the men for being hard. And I don’t blame the women for their spit and their spite behind Kelly’s back. They’re jealous of course, but it’s more than that.

    Truth is, Kelly only shows an interest in a guy when he’s taken. Like Agnew; he’s no great catch and he walks with a limp and till tonight he was on his own. Then Susie got to talking to him and she says she thinks he’s sweet really and she says she thinks she likes him. And that’s when Kelly turns her attention to Agnew. And she’s been with every guy in Donny’s at one time or another and so I hate her, for Susie and Min and every other second choice woman in Donny’s.

    But there was a night when it was different with me, way back. We were just kids then but we thought we were something more. Kelly had been drinking and so had I, and we were by ourselves. Kelly passed out in the park right where it says to keep off the grass. I lay down beside her, close enough I could smell the roses on her skin, always roses, and I put one hand under her dress, and the stars were the only witness to what I did then. And I think she said my name, breathless and hot, and she kissed me like I was a man, and she said I was the only one she really loved.

    Then tonight, and she was doing it with Col, and I was looking up at the stars and needing to piss and not wanting to be seen. And Kelly was snatching for breath and making the moaning sounds of pleasure, and she ups and says that Col is the only one she really loves. And so I hate her and I also hate that in spite of everything I want her so much.

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