8.23.2015 Journal Prompt

Image from Love Actually
Image from Love Actually

August 23, 2015: We pretended not to notice.

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One thought on “8.23.2015 Journal Prompt

  1. He asked me to dance. I could see it took something to do that. His hands were shaking and he couldn’t look me in the eye, and he was almost walking away before I gave answer as if expecting that I’d say him no. His voice was all breath and whisper like the words wouldn’t take shape but had to be blown out of his mouth.

    I smiled and I said I’d like that.

    It was the cigarette-stubbed end of the evening and the air was thick as soup and the smell of beer and sweat hung over everything. And the music had been turned up so that it throbbed in my head and was a pulse under my feet. I’d been just about to go when he asked, just about giving up on another Saturday night at the club. Susie winked at me and she nodded and licked her lips like he might be something good to taste.

    His name was Keegan and he held me close as kissing, my hand tucked in his and my head against him like I was listening for his heart beating, and the music just rocked him and me slow as the sea licking against the shore on a still night. Well, I’m bound to get all poetic when I think of it. His name was Keegan and I was the lucky one in getting him up to dance – though, of course, it was Keegan as asked me.

    I was a little light-headed with the vodka tonics I’d drunk and I was already thinking of my bed when he asked. Now my thoughts were spinning rainbows and carousels out of the night. And when the music stopped we kept on swaying and holding onto each other like we didn’t want any part of it to end, and round about us the hall began to empty and unlucky guys whistled at me and Keegan still dancing and they shouted we should get a room and they made sucking sounds like wet kisses and they laughed and their laughter sounded hollow.

    Susie threaded my handbag into my hand and draped my coat over my shoulders and over Keegan’s arm pressed at the small of my back, and she said she’d see me Monday at work.

    Outside the club the air was chill and the yellow-lit street was already empty and all the stars were missing. Keegan had my hand still and we walked in the direction of his place, like it was something we’d agreed on. And we walked slow, as slow as end-of-the-night dancing, and there if I’m not being poetic again. And I wanted for those lost-behind-the-sky stars so that I might wish upon one, and kisses I’d be wishing for and Keegan a little bolder than he was and his hands running under my clothes and my name in his mouth like a breathless prayer.

    Then of a sudden there was a light in the sky, small as the point of a pin and blinking and shifting, and I knew it was a plane though I pretended it was a star, and I thought on someone god-like in flight and looking down and not seeing me and Keegan making one wish at a time come true: me pulling Keegan into the dark of a shop door and doing it so gently that he could think it was him doing the pulling, and me and Keegan kissing and kissing, and the rainbow and carousel night just beginning when it might have ended at the club with me and Keegan going our separate ways and never having danced.

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