10.28.2014 Journal Prompt

Image from Days of Wine and Roses
Image from Days of Wine and Roses

October 28, 2014: Sometimes it was all we had.

One Reply to “10.28.2014 Journal Prompt”

  1. I don’t know why I stayed as long as I did. I don’t know why he stayed. It didn’t make no sense. Not to no one. My best friend, Tess, she said he was no good and she said I was no good when I was with him. Truth is we was no good together and maybe that was it.

    I’ve been over the whole run of what we had a thousand times in my head and I don’t know how it started. It’s like my memory don’t go that far – goes as far as waking to find him one morning sleeping in my bed, but no further back than that. And when he was sleeping he could be anything, and he looked so soft and so honest and good.

    His name’s Kenny, by the way. He’s got it tattooed on his arm, crudely scratched in blue-black mis-shaped letters and the ink spreading a little under the skin. He did it himself when he was at school, using a dip-pen and ink stolen from the art department. A lot of kids was doing that. I never did, and that’s how it was between us – we was different.

    He had a job waiting tables in a bar up on Tipton. Sometimes he just didn’t go. Sometimes he was just so wasted that he stayed in my bed. I was wasted too. That’s when Tess started saying he was no good and I was no good when I was with him. Kenny said as how he thought she was an interfering busybody and he said as how she was just jealous and she should just keep her opinions to herself, thank you very much.

    She was right though. He wasn’t good for me. We drank too much and we had way too much sex. Good sex, I admit. Best fucking sex I ever had. But my nipples was always sore and I was sore between my legs and everything was swollen. Once I hid in the toilets at work so I wouldn’t have to go home. Planned to stay there the whole night, just to catch breath and not have him reaching for me. It was cold in there, so I gave up after a couple of hours. He was asleep in my bed when I got home; I woke him and I said how I’d missed him and we did it right there and then.

    Then he lost his job and he was always about the apartment and he kept saying as how I should quit my job, too, but the money I made was all that was keeping us together. I was late to the office some days, and that was on account of him being awake early and he couldn’t keep his hands off me. He said I smelled of good things after I’d showered and he said he just wanted to lie in me, like lying in a summer meadow.

    I got sick one time and I came home from work early. I was all hot and dizzy. It was just one of them winter bugs that goes around. I phoned to say could he come get me, but he didn’t answer. It was quiet when I let myself into the flat. The place was a mess and there was women’s clothes laid out on a trail from the front door to the bedroom, shoes and a coat, a skirt and blouse, and her tights and her underwear, all just thrown off.

    And there in my bed, Kenny was sleeping, looking soft and honest and good. And in his arms he held Tess and she wasn’t keeping nothing to herself. It ended then, bewteen me and Kenny, and like I say, I don’t now why I stayed with him as long as I did. And I wonder who else he’d been fucking when he was fucking me and sometimes a whole gallery of women’s faces flickers before my eyes, and sometimes it’s just Tess’ face and she’s saying as how he’s no good and it’s the only word of truth in all of this.

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