11.21.2014 Journal Prompt

Image from Carnal Knowledge
Image from Carnal Knowledge

November 21, 2014: We all wanted something.

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One thought on “11.21.2014 Journal Prompt

  1. There was this teacher at school and he was different from the other teachers. He was young and wise all at the same time. Leastways that’s how it seemed to us – at first it did. He wore his hair long like a girl’s and his tie was never pulled straight and his shoes had lost their shine. His name was Mr Martin and if we met him out of school we could call him Jamie.

    Mr Martin it was who told me about the world and how it really is. He said I was to be careful. He said people were always out for something and knowing what they were after was important. He said if you knew that you had a power over them instead of them having a power over you. Then he leaned in and kissed me and not like a teacher should.

    We were in a cheap room at the Holiday Inn on the edge of town. He’d driven me there and we’d signed in as Mr and Mrs Martin. I liked that. He’d even given me a ring, just in case anyone was looking. We had wine that we’d bought at a supermarket on the way. It was fizzy wine and it tasted of salt and sugar both at the same time and it made me light headed. We drank it out of thick ceramic teacups that came with the room.

    Mr Martin found a channel on the tv that just played music and at first we just danced, holding each other close. The lights in the room were out and the curtains thrown wide so that we were dancing in the moonlight and in the yellow glow of the streetlamps. That’s when he said about people being out for themselves all the time and about them always wanting something from you.

    I asked him about us. I asked him if we were different. I asked him if he wanted something from me. He shrugged and he said that was for me to find out. And he kissed me again and it wasn’t like the boys at the back of the church on a Saturday and their kisses were wet and hungry and their hands were clumsy under my sweater. I thought about how I’d tell Julie at school about this, about how kisses could be slow and soft like in the movies.

    Then he undressed me and we got into bed together. It seemed so natural that I didn’t resist. I kept calling him Mr Martin and he kept reminding me it was Jamie.

    I know now what he was on about and I know what it was he wanted from me. And he was right about the power it gave just knowing. We made out twice before checking out of the room. Then he drove me back to my street, parked at the far end where we couldn’t be seen. He kept swearing out loud and he said it was a mistake, a beautiful mistake but that it couldn’t happen again. He said he was sorry and he said no one was to know and that it’d be more than his job was worth. He made me promise.

    But I wanted something, too. I wanted something from Mr Martin. I kept the ring and I said I loved him and I wanted him to love me back. He looked a little worried then. I laughed and I said that what we’d done in the room at the Holiday Inn, well, that had to count for something. He said again that it was a mistake. I said he should treat me nice and not keep saying that and from the way that I said it and the stupid look on his face, I could tell he understood.

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